


I Will Lose It

by RoyalHavik



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, overuse of blushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 10:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16721490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalHavik/pseuds/RoyalHavik
Summary: “Hey Logan, do we know anyone named Virgil?”





	I Will Lose It

They weren’t sure if they would even manifest soul marks at first. Does a side even have a soul? Would they get it at the same time as Thomas if they did get a mark? It had to be another side if they get one right?

 

Either way, there was much disappointment to go around when only Thomas woke up with and name written over his heart on his 20th birthday. But the sides let it go… mostly. They had a lot to focus on anyways.

 

In fact they pushed the issue so far from the forefront of their collective mind that Patton didn’t realize that he had a name over his heart until a few months later.

 

“Hey Logan,” the moral side poked his head into the logical side’s room, “do we know anyone named Virgil?”

 

Logan didn’t acknowledge him other than to utter a curt “No.”

 

“Ah, alright, thought not. Thanks buddy!” Seeing as the embodiment of Thomas’ logic, and, objectively, the most knowledgeable of the sides, didn’t know, Patton figured that he would just have to wait to meet his soulmate. After all it’s meant to be…

 

But after 7 years he was running out of patience.

 

Patton was startled out of his musings by a loud clang from the direction of the pantry. He took a moment to collect himself before making his way towards what he could tell was one of the others trying, and failing, to be quiet.

 

He’s not really sure what he was expecting, but the scene that greeted him was much cuter than he could have imagined. The relatively new addition to the light side of the mindscape, Anxiety, was standing on his tippy-toes, obviously searching for the cookie jar that Logan had hid in the back of the top shelf after one too many times of finding crumbs on the couch.

 

“You need some help there, kiddo?” He knew he was being too loud, but sometimes… a lot of the time… he got a little overexcited and forgot his social niceties. He did feel bad when he saw how bad Anxiety startled… but the blush that colored his cheeks almost made it worth it. Almost.

 

“Oh-oh, kiddo, I didn’t mean to startle you. Here,” he quickly reached around the other side and grabbing cookies holding them out as a peace offering, “I won’t tell Logan.”

 

Anxiety took a few seconds to stare, seeming unsure of how to react to this situation before taking the cookies with a quiet, “Thanks, Morality.” before scampering off to his room.

 

It didn’t even occur to him until Thomas’ surprise over Logan’s name that he might not know their names. And it wasn’t until long after the video was done that it occurred to him that Anxiety had never called any of them by name. To be fair he could count the amount of times that he had talked to Anxiety-outside of videos- on one hand.

 

But that didn’t excuse the fact that none of them had any idea as to what Anxiety’s real name was.

 

As months went by and Thomas learned each of their names in turn Patton just became more and more, well, anxious when it came to Anxiety’s name. He knew that Anxiety might not be “Virgil” but as he got to see more of his softer feelings shine through he couldn’t help but hope…

 

“Hey, Roman.” He asked the creative side during one of their semi-regular movie nights, “What do you think Anxiety’s name is?”

 

Princey paused for a moment before stopping the movie, “Why would I know that? You know that Surly Temple and I - oh that’s good I should remember to use that…” Patton wanted to try to get him back on track but knew that he wouldn’t get anywhere. Roman had taken a blatant dislike to Anxiety and was unlikely to do anything other than insult the gloomy side in this sort of mood.

 

He watched the fanciful side head off to his room to write out more nicknames while he was still “in the mindset of gloom association games” and prepared himself for a lonely afternoon when an eyeliner clad head poked around the corner. “Is he gone?”

 

Patton grinned at Anxiety, “Yup, he hurried off to catch another ride on the train of thought!” Making sure to keep his movement slow and deliberate he got up from his seat to follow the other into the kitchen. “I ate the last of the cookies this morning if that’s what you’re looking for.” He confessed.

 

Anxiety immediately slouched a little more and moved to turn around, “But I could make more if you don’t mind sticking around, kiddo.”

 

It took a second for Anxiety to reply, obviously conflicted in his answer, “You don’t have to do that, Patton…” the moral side felt his cheeks warm at the use of his name.

 

“Well of course I don’t have to, but I want to kiddo.” He put a hand on his shoulder and was happy to find it not pushed off, “I certainly wouldn’t say no to some help though!”

 

“Ok… what should I do?”

 

“Well first off we’ll both need to wash our hands, then I’ll get the dry ingredients if you’ll grab the eggs and butter for me.” He continued to guide the other side through the process of making oatmeal raisin cookies. Enjoying Anxiety slowly becoming less tense the farther into the process they got. Though he had made an effort to talk to Anxiety since he started coming out of his room, this was still the longest he had ever been around the side without Thomas or the other sides around and he was enjoying the peace. “And now all we have to do is wait.”

 

He turned back to Anxiety with a grin and noticed a bit of flower on his cheek. It was automatic for him to reach out and try to rub it off but Anxiety froze as soon as his thumb made contact. “Sorry, kiddo, shoulda warned ya… just some flower on your face… it’s gone now.”

 

Anxiety’s face quickly turned a fantastic shade of red and Patton felt a matching one start to bloom on his own face. “Thanks… I’m just going to… go.” With a sinking feeling Patton watched Anxiety scurry up the stairs. It had been fun while it lasted. He made a point to leave a plate of the completed cookies outside of Anxiety’s room and was gratified to see it empty the next day.

 

Logan was spending one of his rare evenings off in the living room watching one of those new Sherlock Holmes adaptations when Patton decides to test his knowledge on his recent obsession. “So Logan, I have a mystery for ya.”

 

Logan paused his program with a sigh, “And what might that be Patton?”

 

“What do you think Anxiety’s name is?”

 

“Not Talyn.”

 

“Aww, I knew that.” He replied with a forced smile, “Aren’t you even a little bit curious?”

 

The logical side turned to Patton and adopted his usual serious manner, “Well it is almost impossible to know what Anxiety’s name is.” Patton started to deflate, “But given certain patterns we can guess that that it will end in either an –an or –on, such as in Jonathan or Sebastian. It may have a meaning to do with his job such as a synonym for fear or worry. I would need more time to research it and would more than likely come to the wrong conclusion anyways.” He turned his show back on signaling the end of the conversation. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready, Patton.”

 

Well… there is that… and none of the options were even close to what he wanted…

 

He didn’t have long to ponder his query because the next day Patton woke up feeling fundamentally wrong. Just off with no apparent explanations. And then he was summoned…

 

Patton understood that Logan was feeling stressed with Thomas’ new apathy, but how could the two not acknowledge the absence of Anxiety? That they could just ignore he balance that he brings to their dynamic was… terrifying.

 

Though not as terrifying as the spiders Anxiety surrounded himself with. No wonder he was so jumpy.

 

He wasn’t able to hold onto most of the conversation flowing around him with the panic he felt welling up inside of him, but he did manage to make a few interjections and was pleased to hear that Anxiety had noticed and appreciated his friendly overtures. The few snippets of conversation he was able to grasp were more pleasant than he would have been able to hope for even that morning, though the comments were coming at increasingly loud volumes.

 

And when they got back-

 

“Wait, oh boy. I’m actually considering it.” Could it be? Could it finally be?

 

“Wha-what?” Thomas and the other looked confused but Patton could barely think with anticipation.

 

“You’ve kind of made me want to open up to you, but, _big surprise_ , I’m really anxious about it.”

 

“Anxious.” He interjected, blurting out the topic that had been on his mind for a long time, “Like your _name_!”

 

“Yup, that was- that… You’re great Patton.” Anxiety was stuttering. But didn’t look like he would give up. “Actually on the subject of my name.” Patton held his breath.

 

“Shut up.” And let it out again in a rush. Did the romantic side have to choose now of all times to respect someone’s privacy?

 

“Oh, that’s ok, no pressure.” Dammit Logan, this is not the time for sensitivity. “If you don’t want to-“

 

“Logan.” He interrupted before this could go any further, “Shut your ever flapping gob-talker. Ok?”

 

“No pranks or misleading?” Could they all just shut up already?

 

“Not this time…” _C’mon Anxiety, you can do it._ “Oooh, man. Why did we have a heart-felt moment?”

 

“It’s totally fine. This is a very accepting environment.” He tried to reassure “But I have dot to tell you that I have been theorizing on it for a very long time so if it’s not exactly not exactly the name that I think it is, _I Will Lose It._ ” _Shit._

“…Ok.” He wasn’t stopping… thank goodness. “Promise you won’t laugh though?”

 

“Of course not.” _Good Thomas._

 

“My name…” The air grew tense with anticipation, “MynameisVirgil!”

 

It took him as second but. _Oh._ Ha. Logan had been wrong “That doesn’t end with an –an or an –on.” If he had “Shouldn’t it be something like Virgin.” Thank god.

 

He lost track of the rest of the conversation because Anxiety was him. _Virgil._ Patton just continued to grin as he lost himself to all the happy feelings flooding his system and the burning of the name over his heart.

 

_His name is Virgil._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I like how this turned out, but let me know if you want more of this! I know I didn't really get into reactions, other soulmates, or why Virgil didn't speak up sooner... and I mean, there are reasons, I'm just not entirely sure yet how I want it to come up. So for now I'll leave this as complete and change it if inspiration, or help, comes.


End file.
